Joke #3728

Fed up with your computer winning at chess? Try it at kick-boxing instead!
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: IT

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Windows, the world's first commercially successful virus!
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, IT
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer. Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse. And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse. Because there’s only one jack. Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself? You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer. Caller: Are you kidding me!? Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow. That’s going to be so much easier! Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way? Caller: Six weeks!
Vote: has 65.42 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, IT, stupid
Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, geek, IT, technology
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad? A: Data
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, computer, dad, IT
No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, coding, computer, geek, IT
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb? A thyme machine.
Vote: has 26.16 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: IT
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
Vote: has 84.05 % from 688 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, IT, technology, wife, winter
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
Vote: has 29.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: health, IT, medical, money, time
The mouse is referred to as a ‘little bugger’.
Vote: has 11.06 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: IT
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Vote: has 85.41 % from 184 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: IT, money, office, work