Joke #3728

Fed up with your computer winning at chess? Try it at kick-boxing instead!
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: IT

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A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says: "Hello world!"
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: bar, coding, geek, IT, programmer
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: IT
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: car, IT, life
Someone calls at the hotline: Good evening. I’ve just installed Windows 98... So? Wheel I have a problem... Ok, ok, you just said that...
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
Knock knock! Who's there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
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has 68.14 % from 319 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, knock-knock
The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
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has 78.87 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: IT
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, party, technology
How come the women loves the PC? It’s easier to turn on!
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, love
A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife : Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!! What happened, did you run out of toilet paper? No, restart the router, please!
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has 78.06 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: IT, wife
Bill Gates was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. Bill Gates looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, IT