Fed up with your computer winning at chess?
Try it at kick-boxing instead!
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Q: What is height of Craziness?
A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
Programmer.
A machine that turns coffee into code.
The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.
Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones.
This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.
Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.
Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
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Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?
A: Because they don't C#.
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A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range.
He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away.
The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit.
They shout to him that he missed completely.
The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer.
The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off.
He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here!
The problem must be at your end!’
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.
How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider
Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
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