Joke #3728

Fed up with your computer winning at chess? Try it at kick-boxing instead!
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Life is too short to remove USB safely.
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C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
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I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ? There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
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New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
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How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
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Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx.
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What is the other name for the ‘Intel Inside?' "The warning label." {Intel inside.......fool is outside}.
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