Joke #4226

What do you call a computer that takes 15 minutes to start, freezes if you try to do more than one thing at a time, crashes regularly and causes you to swear under your breath throughout the day? Cutting edge.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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Wikipedia: I know everything! Google: I have everything! Facebook: I know everybody! Internet: Without me you are nothing! Electricity: Keep talking bitches!
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Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
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A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish." The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east." The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits." The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes" Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."
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The mouse is referred to as a ‘little bugger’.
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Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx.
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers. Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’ God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’
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What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge? Cool music.
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You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
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