Q: What is height of Craziness? A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
What do computers eat when they get hungry? "Chips."
A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?
A system administrator has 2 problems: - dumb users - smart users
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
A tourist was drowning in the sea: Help! Help! He screams. Very calm the fisherman says: Press F1 already and stop screaming. You’re scaring the fishes away.