Q: What is height of Craziness? A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
What do Scientists have for snacks? Micro-chips.
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
How come the women loves the PC? It’s easier to turn on!
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!