How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer?
(They use bear conditioning!)
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As a child, I was afreid of ghosts.
As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.
5 year old daughter: "Mom, why is some of your hair white?"
Me: *smiles* "Every time you make me sad, another hair turns white."
Daughter: *wide eyes* "Wow mom, what did you do to grandma?"
One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed.
That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."
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Q: How did the sand get wet?
A: The sea weed!
Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
A: We have to stick together.
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas?
A: My bike.
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Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?"
Voice: "This is my father."
A kid was crying standing outside his house.
A passer by asked: "Why are you crying?"
Kid: "My parents are fighting inside the house."
Passer by: "Who is your father?"
Kid: "That is what the fight is about."
Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven.
At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"Heaven! Heaven!" Yelled Little Lisa.
"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest.
"Dead!" Yelled Little Johnny.
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