How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer?
(They use bear conditioning!)
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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world.
Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber.
“That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son!
May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game.
The cashier:
- Are you stupid? This isn't real money!
Peter:
- You're stupid. The car is not real either.
What's white, furry, and shaped like a tooth?
(A molar bear!)
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
As a child, I was afreid of ghosts.
As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.
Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier?
A: You can count on me.
Yo mamas so ugly, she scares blind kids away.
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town.
They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
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