Joke #3741

Having lawyers make laws is like having doctors make diseases.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathisers.
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Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer--do you have a locker room in the police station--a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties? A: Yes sir, we do.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A Preacher and a lawyer both go to heaven at the same time and the Preacher receives his gifts that he had expected and he sees that the lawyer gets this big house and pool. The Peacher asked God: "Why is it that I get the things I've wanted, but the lawyer gets all that?" God Replied: "He is the first lawyer to make it into Heaven."
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A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city donated to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. "A shilling?" said the Justice, "It only takes shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go bury 20 of `em!"
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has 79.96 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer, money
Question: How can you tell that an attorney is about to lie? Answer: His lips begin to move.
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: airplane, business, lawyer
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets? Shoot the lawyer twice.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. "If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.
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has 84.43 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
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has 73.37 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: black humor, lawyer
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "How many can you afford?"
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, light bulb, money