Joke #3745

‘The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It’s called the stock market.’ Jay Leno
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Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks - but half the pages are missing. What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?
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Why is money green? Because people usually pick it before it's ripe!
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After 40 years of hard work, a man retired with $5,000,000.00 which he had gained through courage, diligence, initiative, skill, devotion to duty, thrift, efficiency, shrewd investment. And the death of an uncle who left him $4,999,999.50.
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A wife tells her husband while watching a Mexican TV series: "Look, how much he loves her…" "Yes. But do you know how much he's being paid for that?"
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Q: In what way are Democrats more generous than Republicans? A: Unlike Republicans, Democrats are not only generous with their own money, but also with other people's money.
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Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.
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Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
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Yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!
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What’s the quickest way to double your money? Fold it in half!
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A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce." On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce." The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
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