I’ve got one those special filter programmes on my Internet access.
It’s really handy, it blocks out everything except porn sites.
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A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user...
Help desk: Double click on "My Computer".
Lady: I can't see your computer...
Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer.
Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?!
Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it...
Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?
Vote:
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales?
Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.
Someone calls at the hotline:
Good evening.
I’ve just installed Windows 98...
So?
Wheel I have a problem...
Ok, ok, you just said that...
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
Vote:
I’ve invented a human computer.
When he does a mistake he blames another computer.
Womens are like computer virus...
they ENTER your life...
SEARCH your pocket...
SHIFT your balance ...
CONTROL your life...
when you become an old version DELET you from the system
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer.
Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse.
And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse.
Because there’s only one jack.
Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself?
You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.
Caller: Are you kidding me!?
Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow.
That’s going to be so much easier!
Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way?
Caller: Six weeks!
I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
