I’ve got one those special filter programmes on my Internet access. It’s really handy, it blocks out everything except porn sites.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
Why did the boy mouse like the girl mouse? They just seemed to click.
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas." The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."
Fed up with your computer winning at chess? Try it at kick-boxing instead!
Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common? A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer? A: This won't hurt a byte
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.