I’ve got one those special filter programmes on my Internet access.
It’s really handy, it blocks out everything except porn sites.
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Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
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Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.”
The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.”
And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Programmer.
A machine that turns coffee into code.
At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer.
‘If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?’
Among the forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless.
When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his team’s software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
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