Joke #3860

How do insects communicate? By bee mail.

Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.

Q: My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out? A: Nope, they're the Real McCoy. The little arrows mean "up", as in "look up at the screen". Your keyboard is telling you to learn to touch type and quit staring at your fingers.

The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.

Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common? A: They're both become useless when you open windows.

Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?

What’s an Athlon at 1,2 GHz processor that runs for 9 minutes without a cooler called? 8.5 minutes burned processor.

Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer? Nerdvana.

A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’

I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.

If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.