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Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.
Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide.
Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?"
Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized."
Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?"
Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down.
'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'"
Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?"
Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank.
And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them.
And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office.
Did I do something wrong?"
No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, that's a hardware problem.
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The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball."
Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
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Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
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A programmer went to the store to buy milk.
His partner said, "While you're there, buy eggs."
The programmer never returned.
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Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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A new army computer is put through its paces.
An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’
The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’
The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’
The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’