A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week.
Finally someone notices and calls the police.
They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body.
The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion.
The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle – ‘Wet hair.
Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.’
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Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales?
Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.
Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover?
A: Your mouse pad.
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road.
The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week".
The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week".
The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!"
The programmer smiles and walks on.
Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?"
"I'm a programmer," he replies.
"I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
The car salesman can probably drive!
Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong.
Why?
Because a virus does something.
Where does the acronym LOTUS come from?
Let Only Users Suffer.
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die.
Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data