An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress.
The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered.
The lawyer warns of the difficulties.
It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy.
The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
My wife thinks I’m with my mistress.
My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
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Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you. You have my Word.
I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work.
To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.
A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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Two computers in the same LAN chatting one night:
PC1: I was having a nightmare last night, it was so horrible.
PC2: Why, what did you dream about ?
PC1: I was sleeping, dreaming 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 when all of a sudden a 2 popped up!
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers.
Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’
God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.