How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx.
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university. After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast. Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ? The man hesitated for a second looking confused. Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil.