Joke #5059

How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."

I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company. One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh. The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted. I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash." Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."

I have a statistics joke, but it's not significant. I have a regression joke, but it sounds quite mean. I have a machine learning joke, but it is not performing as well on a new audience. I have a joke about deep learning but I can't explain it. I have a geography joke, but I don't know where it is.

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50." "Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

Home is where the wifi connects automatically.

Chuck Norris can access private methods.

What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman? PC Plod.

Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.

The keyboard is painted in camouflage.

What does the informatics teacher scream when he’s drowning? - F1, F1, F1...