Joke #5059

How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
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If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
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Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.
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When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
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Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx.
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When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
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The monitor is up on blocks.
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Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
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The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
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A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university. After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast. Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ? The man hesitated for a second looking confused. Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
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When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil.
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