Joke #3780

How do girls get minks? The same way minks get minks.
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has 35.21 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: sex

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One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!" The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit." The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina. The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it." So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to moan and groan aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises. The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think you're doing?" The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the bastard!"
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has 80.50 % from 5775 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, love, sex
Bigamy is having one wife too many, but so is monogamy.
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has 50.88 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: sex, wife
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver. She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?" "Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish. Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids." "Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too." "My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."
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has 75.09 % from 298 votes. More jokes about: car, death, dirty, gay, sex
Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
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has 32.39 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, sex, time, women
A 6 year old boy asks his daddy: Daddy, where did I come from to this life? You were brought by a stork. That's strange, you have such a pretty wife, but nevertheless you're fucking a stork.
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has 72.96 % from 298 votes. More jokes about: sex
Roses are red violets are blue, I have never tried So can I stick it up you?
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has 35.54 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty, poems, relationship, sex
A boy washed with his mum in the bathroom and saw her vagina and asks: "what the hell is this". "It is called a cave" replied the mother. The next day he washed with his father and saw his dick and asks "what the heck is this". "This is called little Johnny". The next day he went to school and his teacher was mad that he came late to school so she told him to sing a song. He started to sing "when the black clouds came out of the mountain little Johnny ran into the cave."
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has 51.55 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, music, school, sex
Kate was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner. Her husband Paul was in the living room drinking a beer and watching the game. "Honey, you need to come in here and fix the fridge. The door is broke and if you don’t fix it the food will go bad," Kate said. Paul yells back, "Who do I look like the GE man, I Don’t think so." A little while later Kate says, "Honey, you need to fix the hall light, it’s out." "Who do I look like an electrician, I don’t think so," Paul says. A few minutes later Kate says, "Honey, you need to fix the porch step before someone gets hurt on it." Paul quickly replies, "Who do I look like a carpenter, I don’t think so." Frustrated, he gets up and leaves. He decides to go to a bar down the road. After the game was over, he began to feel slightly guilty for the way he treated his wife so he went on home. He comes up the porch and realizes that the step is fixed. He walked into the house and noticed that the hall light was fixed. He walked into the kitchen to get a cold beer and noticed that the fridge was fixed. Paul sees his wife and says, "Babe, how did you fix all this." She looked at him and said, "Well after you left I began to cry on the porch." A fine young man walked past and noticed I was crying and he asked me what he could do to help. He fixed everything. I asked him what I could do for payment." He said "I could either bake him a cake or sleep with him." Paul says, LWell, what kind of cake did you bake him?" Kate looks at him and replies, "Who do I look like Betty Crocker, I don’t think so!"
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has 81.25 % from 1531 votes. More jokes about: food, game, husband, money, sex
A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ. ‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’
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has 64.19 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: sex
A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
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has 78.56 % from 363 votes. More jokes about: geography, military, priest, sex, war