How do girls get minks?
The same way minks get minks.
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Yo mama's so fat that, after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
There are three types of sex in a marriage.
The first one is Kitchen Sex.
This is when you are newlyweds, and you're still having fun, so you do it anywhere, anytime - but mostly the kitchen.
The second type is Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have settled down a bit and probably have kids, so you can't do it anywhere except the bedroom.
The third type of sex is Hallway Sex.
This is when you pass each other in the hall and say, "Screw you."
But there's also a fourth kind called Courtroom Sex.
This is when you are getting a divorce and you try to screw each other in public.
‘Doctor, I suffer from premature ejaculation.
Can you help me?!’
‘No, but I can introduce you to a woman with a short attention span!’
‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.’
Steve Martin
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment?
Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home.
Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn."
Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?"
The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
Mary and Jane are talking.
Mary declares that she’s finally got pregnant after years of trying.
‘How did you manage it?’ asks Jane.
‘I went to that hypnotherapist on the High Street,’ replies Mary.
‘I got pregnant within two months.’
‘Oh, my husband and I tried seeing him years ago,’ says Jane.
‘It didn’t work for us.’
‘Of course it wouldn’t,’ replies Mary.
‘You have to go alone.’