She’s got her very own method of birth control.
She takes her make-up off.
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Dad, what happens if a condom tear?
Look at yourself...
Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
Vote:
A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road.
He stops.
And he asks him:
- Hey, What happens to you?
- (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car.
- Well, don't care and buy another car.
- Look inside the car!
- Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all.
- Look inside her mouth!!!
Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".
The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
What are the small bumps around women’s nipples?
It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives.
Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does."
Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft."
Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?"
Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?"
"Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw...
She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
Vote:
My nephew told me when he grows up, he wants to be a pizza delivery guy, or a pool skimmer.
I need to tell my bro to do a better job at hiding his porn.
An old couple returning from florida cross the border.
The customs agent
ask the man "did you buy anything while in the US.
the man answers no.
the man's wife asks her husband "what did he say?".
the man tells his wife
"the agent wants to know if we bought anything".
the customs agent asks
the man where he is from. the man answers "toronto".
the man's wife says
"what did he say?" the man tells his wife "he wanted to know where we were
from. the agent says to the man " i was in toronto once, i had the worst
sex ever in my life in toronto."
the man's wife says "what did he say?"
the husband tells his wife "he thinks he knows you dear."