She’s got her very own method of birth control.
She takes her make-up off.
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The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills.
The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination.
Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat.
During the couple’s moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?"
"Screw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one’s all mine!"
Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Justin.
Justin who?
Your justin time to wipe my ass!
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My girlfriend used to give amazing blow jobs, but lately they haven't been so great - they are starting to hurt me now since her baby teeth started growing in.
Do you work at a cattery?
Because I wanna be covered in pussy.
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".
The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps.
Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty.
His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex.
After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition.
‘Stuff that!’ says the woman.
‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
Roses are red
violets are blue,
I have never tried
So can I stick it up you?
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