Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
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A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it.
Now I have two problems.
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A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately.
However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets.
Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?"
His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..."
The man shook his head.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?"
The man shook his head again angrily.
"Sorry... a worm?"
The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces.
"Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman?
"Immediately start downloading it."
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy?
A: Inheritance.
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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