Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
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90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.
Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’
Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password.
She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response:
PASSWORD REJECTED.
NOT LONG ENOUGH!
I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.
A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?
When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem.
Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space.
They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass.
Russia used a pencil.
I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work.
To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958
How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus?
Don't worry, they'll let you know.
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Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
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