A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
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Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!
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To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
1 bug fixed...
Compile again,
100 little bugs in the code.
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding?
That’s a hardware problem!
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer.
Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse.
And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse.
Because there’s only one jack.
Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself?
You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.
Caller: Are you kidding me!?
Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow.
That’s going to be so much easier!
Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way?
Caller: Six weeks!
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea.
Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
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