A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
Why was the computer tired when he got home? Because he had a hard drive.
How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx.
Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert. Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it. Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer. Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse. And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse. Because there’s only one jack. Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself? You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer. Caller: Are you kidding me!? Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow. That’s going to be so much easier! Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way? Caller: Six weeks!
Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
A programmer had a problem. He decided to use Java. He now has a ProblemFactory.