At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement:
"Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
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If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
The mouse is referred to as a ‘little bugger’.
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society.
Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests.
The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people.
Host: Who have you brought along?
Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost.
A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people.
Host: Who have you bought along?
DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants.
A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own.
Host: Why haven't you brought anyone?
SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan.
20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess.
Host: Where have you been MySQL?
MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb?
A thyme machine.
What did the computer do at lunchtime?
Had a byte!
Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland?
A: Nerdic.
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Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
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What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do?
Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
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Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
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