What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Spot!
What's a rabbits favorite book? Hop on Pop.
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.
Make the world your playground. Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it helps. If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do. When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up. Always find a good patch of sun to nap in. Nap often. When in trouble, just purr and look cute. Life is hard, and then you nap. Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours. Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them, and play with them when they're busy. Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there. Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner. Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown? A chameleon on a tartan rug.
What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
Which rabbit was in Western movies? Hopalong Cassidy.
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.