Joke #3813

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Spot!
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Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
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Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back? They re always switching their tails.
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog. ‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman. ‘No,’ replies the boy. And the dog bites the mailman’s leg. ‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman. ‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
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What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"
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What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer.
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At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?” Most of the hands go up. “And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?” About half the hands stay up. “Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with a ghost?” Three hands stay up; there’s a slight murmur in the crowd. “Gosh, that’s pretty good. Okay, have any of you ever, uh…, been *intimate* with a ghost?” One hand stays up. The speaker blinks. “Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you’ve actually had *sexual* contact with a ghost?” The fellow suddenly blushes and says, “Oh, I’m sorry,… I thought you said goat!”
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Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.
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What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood.
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A man on a beach sees a shark near a child in the shallows. Ignoring personal safety, he dives in the water and, with his bare hands, kills the shark. He brings the tot to shore and is met with tumultuous applause from spectators. "Geez, mate" says a reporter "You should get a medal. What part of Australia are you from?" Modestly our hero says: "Actually I'm from England." The next days newspaper headline says "Pommy mongrel kills child's pet"
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More jokes about: animal, death, racist