Joke #10731

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"
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has 82.81 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: animal
Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest. 1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room! 2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it. 3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2. Home he replied to shag the cat!
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is a bear's favourite drink? Koka-Koala.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, holiday
What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, money
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned: "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied: "That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
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has 71.39 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, death, fish, little Johnny
Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet. That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
How do you get a hundred cows in a barn? You hang up a bingo sign!
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
I love my cat. My cat does not care.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal