Joke #3830

Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’ Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’
Vote: has 43.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time. Julie: "I should warn you, Ted -- I've got acute angina." Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."
Vote: has 37.83 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower. When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Tom, "I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!" Paul looks at the wall and says "What are you talkng about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"
Vote: has 74.50 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, gay, love, sex
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!" Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
Vote: has 71.27 % from 355 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, sport
Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water? A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
Vote: has 62.78 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dinosaur, sex
I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.
Vote: has 58.16 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, sex
What do you say to a virgin? Thanks for nothing!
Vote: has 39.56 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex
What did one tit say to the other? I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
Vote: has 73.80 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex
A priest passed near a young boys gang that were hanging out next to the church. He went close to them and asked them: "What are you boys doing there?" "Not much, Father. We are playing a game in which however says the biggest lie about his sexual life, wins!" "Oh, boys!" surprised said the priest. "When I was your age I wasn’t even thinking about sex!" And the boys unanimously: "You won, Father!"
Vote: has 77.67 % from 503 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, church, life, priest, sex
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home. Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter’s bedroom and heard her screaming. The mother thought to herself, “That’s normal, especially on her wedding night.” She snuck by her second oldest daughter’s room and heard her laughing. “That’s normal too,” she said, smiling to herself. Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter’s room where she didn’t hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it. The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night’s noises. “Well Mom,” she replied, “you always said if it hurt I should scream.” “You’re absolutely right sweetheart, ”the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter. “Now why were you laughing?” she asked. “You always said if it tickled, I could laugh,” she answered. “True enough, honey.” The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days. “Now it’s your turn, baby,” she said turning to her youngest daughter. “Why was it so quiet in your room last night?” “Mom, don’t you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full.”
Vote: has 87.07 % from 759 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, holiday, marriage, sex, wedding
My wife and I really love bondage. She loves it because she's a kinky bitch. I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.
Vote: has 73.85 % from 174 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: love, sex, wife