Joke #3830

Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’ Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’
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In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
Vote: has 76.46 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

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An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"
Vote: has 76.14 % from 182 votes. Send joke:

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A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. "Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed." Two days later her doorbell rings. "Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away." "What makes you think you are great in bed?" the woman retorts. Tim replies, "I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?"
Vote: has 78.16 % from 549 votes. Send joke:

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A little boy wakes up in the middle of the night and walks into his parents room and sees them having sex. The little boy, traumatized, runs out of the room crying. "You should go check on him, thats really going to be something you need to explain," said the mother. The father laughed it off with a traditional "he will get over it," and continued to chuckle about the whole situation. After some additional prodding from the mother the father agrees to go talk to the little boy. As he is walking down the hallway to his sons room he hears an empty thumping sound coming from his sons room. Thump - Thump - squish - Thump- Thump. The father, very confused, slams the door open and sees his son balls deep, pounding the shit out of his grandmothers asshole. Just really going to town on it. The father screams "What the hell are you doing?" The boy replies, "It's not so funny when its your mom, is it?"
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A man and his wife were having sex one night in there bedroom. There little boy opens the door and says "Daddy what are you doing to mama?" Then the daddy says "Making you a little sister" And then the boy replies "Hell no do it doggy style I want a puppy."
Vote: has 78.65 % from 1489 votes. Send joke:

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Knock-Knock Who is there? A long penis with a naked head. Come in please we were waiting for you.
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Priest walks into a hotel reception and says 'I have booked a room for the night, but I hope the pornography on the television is disabled'. The receptionist say 'You weirdo, its normal porn!'
Vote: has 71.06 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

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I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
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Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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‘Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.’ Rodney Dangerfield
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