Joke #3887

There is nothing wrong with sex on TV – as long as you don’t fall off.

Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.

A husband says to his wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight." The wife replies, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?"

Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. - You can have chocolate in in public. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.

Did you hear about the idiot who put ice in his condom? He wanted to keep the swelling down.

A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.

How can you tell if your girlfriend’s frigid? When you open her legs, the lights go on.

I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps... do you wanna help me verify this?

Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex.

A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter" The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?" The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."

A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".