Two men are having a drink together.
One says, ‘I had sex with my wife before we were married.
What about you?’
‘I don’t know,’ says the other.
‘What was her maiden name?’
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How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
When his hand caught fire.
A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off.
A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby.
The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me."
"Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man.
"No way, you're disgusting, go away."
The homeless man turns and starts walking away.
The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?"
The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."
Vote:
Men are like buses.
One comes every 15 minutes.
Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex?
They're called "Predickamints".
Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.
Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman?
A: Inserting the anchovies
Vote:
Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning.
The man strokes her back, "I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this..."
"Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault."