Two men are having a drink together.
One says, ‘I had sex with my wife before we were married.
What about you?’
‘I don’t know,’ says the other.
‘What was her maiden name?’
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction?
A: What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
Vote:
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings.
As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.
Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea.
On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter’s bedroom and heard her screaming.
The mother thought to herself, “That’s normal, especially on her wedding night.”
She snuck by her second oldest daughter’s room and heard her laughing.
“That’s normal too,” she said, smiling to herself.
Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter’s room where she didn’t hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it.
The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night’s noises.
“Well Mom,” she replied, “you always said if it hurt I should scream.”
“You’re absolutely right sweetheart,
”the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter.
“Now why were you laughing?” she asked.
“You always said if it tickled, I could laugh,” she answered.
“True enough, honey.” The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days.
“Now it’s your turn, baby,” she said turning to her youngest daughter.
“Why was it so quiet in your room last night?”
“Mom, don’t you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full.”
Q: What type of bees make milk?
A: Boo-bees.
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age?
A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.
That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.
Q: What's a man's definition of safe sex?
A: When his wife's out of town.
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted
to him and during her questions about his life she asked him
how he managed for sex.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a
hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll
show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothes,
laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide.
"Here," she
said, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her
an almighty kick, right in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony.
Eventually she managed to gasp,
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.