Two men are having a drink together. One says, ‘I had sex with my wife before we were married. What about you?’ ‘I don’t know,’ says the other. ‘What was her maiden name?’
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
A boy washed with his mum in the bathroom and saw her vagina and asks: "what the hell is this". "It is called a cave" replied the mother. The next day he washed with his father and saw his dick and asks "what the heck is this". "This is called little Johnny". The next day he went to school and his teacher was mad that he came late to school so she told him to sing a song. He started to sing "when the black clouds came out of the mountain little Johnny ran into the cave."
I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name? Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.
Warning ladies! Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY". This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".