Joke #3901

This antique pocket watch has been in my family for generations. It’s true. My grandfather sold me it on his deathbed.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A young man wants to be left something in his aunt’s will, so every day he goes round and takes her poodles for a walk. When she finally dies, she does indeed remember the kindness of her nephew – and leaves him the poodles.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will." "That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change."
Vote: has 80.94 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, money
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time." "Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad. "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me that first penny?"
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, relationship
A man went to his lawyer and told him, ‘My neighbour owes me £500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?’ ‘Do you have any proof he owes you the money?’ asked the lawyer. ‘Nope,’ replied the man. ‘OK, then write him a letter asking him for the £1,000 he owed you,’ said the lawyer. ‘But it’s only £500,’ replied the man. ‘Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!’
Vote: has 85.31 % from 238 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
Vote: has 61.35 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Greek, The bankers are Swiss. In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Greek.
Vote: has 64.52 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, heaven, money, racist
In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
Vote: has 79.05 % from 1423 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, kids, money, stupid
Yo mama is so stupid that when he got a new bicycle he gave it to the charity funds.
Vote: has 25.82 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, stupid, Yo mama
Discussion between two future lawyers: I don’t understand why they rejected me! I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients. What did you tell them? I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands! You’re hands? What do you mean? Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, money, wife