This antique pocket watch has been in my family for generations.
It’s true.
My grandfather sold me it on his deathbed.
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What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll become a hooker.
She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I’ll be parked around the corner.”
She’s standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, “How much?”
She says, “A hundred dollars.”
He says, “All I got is thirty”.
She says, “Hold on,” and runs back to Harry and asks, “What can he get for thirty?”
“A hand job”, Harry reply.
She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollar is a hand job.
He agrees.
She gets in the car.
He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE...
She stares at it for a minute, and then says, “I’ll be right back.”
She runs back to Harry, and asks, “Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?”
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
Vote:
Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections?
A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!
Vote:
Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars?
Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.
A mink in the wardrobe often leads to a wolf at the door.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.