Joke #3901

This antique pocket watch has been in my family for generations. It’s true. My grandfather sold me it on his deathbed.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

"If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?" "One dollar." answered little Johnny. "You don't know your basic math." said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed. Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my daddy."
Vote: has 85.35 % from 483 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, money
Where do fish keep their money? In a river bank!
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, insulting, money, Yo mama
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial. When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"
Vote: has 87.21 % from 1981 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, money, stupid
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.
Vote: has 87.17 % from 2310 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, blonde, lawyer, money, travel
Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her
Vote: has 26.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, marriage, money
An almost blind guy walked into a sexy lingerie shop to purchase their most see-through item for his wife. After receiving some help from the store clerk, he bought a lace teddy for $600 and brought it home for his wife to try on. She took it upstairs and realized that it didn't quite fit. But, she figured, since it's supposed to be see-through and since he's almost blind, she might as well wear nothing at all. So she came downstairs completely naked. "Huh," said the old man, hugging her. "For the amount I paid, they could've at least ironed the damn thing."
Vote: has 78.81 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, money, wife