Joke #3901

This antique pocket watch has been in my family for generations. It’s true. My grandfather sold me it on his deathbed.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A guy's walking along the beach and he finds a magic lamp. He rubs it and two blonde genies come out. They tell him they'll grant him any three wishes he wants. So he makes his wishes... he wakes up in bed with 50 of the most beautiful women he's ever seen and he'd just made love to all of them. Then he walks outta the bed and opens a treasure chest filled with more money than you could ever imagine... then two KKK members come riding in on horses, throw a noose over a tree and hang him... The KKK members take off their masks and its the two blonde genies one of them says to the other: "I can understand why he wanted to sleep with all the women, I know why he wanted a chest full of money... but I can't figure out why the hell he would wanna be hung like a nigger..."
Vote: has 36.64 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, blonde, genie, love, money
Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent?
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, lawyer, mean, money, religious
Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, “I’ve got to take a crap.” The other said, “Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap.” The first one said, “But I don’t have any paper to wipe my ass.” The other blonde replied, “You have a dollar, don’t you?” The first one said, “Yeah, I’ve got a dollar. That’s a great idea– I’ll use that!” He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes. His friend looked at him and asked, “What in the hell happened to you?” The first one replied, “Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?”
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, hunting, money
‘Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.’ Spike Milligan
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
Two boys were talking and the one said to the other, "There is a easy way to get what you want." The other boy said, "How?" the boy replied, "Tell people you know their secret." The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, "I know your secret!" The dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom heres $10." The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!" The mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15." The boy then decides to try it on the mail man, "I know your secret!" The mail man opened his arms and said, "Come, give your dad a hug!"
Vote: has 83.81 % from 194 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, life, money
Three boys were walking along the beach one day when they see a cave. The first boy goes in and is looking at a banknote on a big rock when a ghostly voice calls out '' I am the ghost of Auntie Abel and this five dollars stays on the table!'' The second boy goes in and is reaching for the money when the same thing happens again. The third boy goes in ,sees the five dollars and cries out,''I am the ghost of David Crockett and this five dollars goes in my pocket!''
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
Uncle gives little Johnny a £5 note for his birthday. ‘Spend it carefully,’ says Uncle. ‘Remember – a fool and his money are soon parted.’ Little Johnny replies, ‘Well you certainly handed it over fast enough.’
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
"If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?" "One dollar." answered little Johnny. "You don't know your basic math." said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed. Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my daddy."
Vote: has 85.60 % from 756 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, money
How do you start a Jewish parade? Throw a penny down main street.
Vote: has 69.85 % from 194 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: jewish, money, racist