Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?
They need a map.
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As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, “All right! All you dummies fall out.”
As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention.
The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow.
I smiled and said, “Sure was a lot of ‘em, huh sir?”
One day some soldiers from a nearby Army camp saw a boy leading a donkey.
They thought they would have some fun with him.
"Say, boy," called out one of the soldiers.
"You sure are keeping a tight rein on your brother, aren't you?"
"Sure am," said the boy.
"If I didn't he would probably join the Army."
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives?
Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you — please keep your photo and return the others.”
How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
They both wear stripes.
The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, "I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning."
"Thank you very much, sir."
‘What were you in civilian life, soldier?’ ‘Happy, sir.’
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality