Life may not be worth living, but what else can you do with it?
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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
Now we have no jobs, no hope and no cash.
Two friends were having a discussion about their relatives....
"I'll never amount to anything in life..", said the one friend. "In fact, my uncle is the town drunk.."
"Well...that's not too bad.", replied the other, trying to console his friend. "Where does your uncle live..?"
"New York City..."
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Opportunity!
That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!
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Waiter, what is this stuff?
That's bean salad sir.
I know what it's been, but what is it now?
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
"I really don’t know girl, but I don’t believe in love at first sight!"
"Why?"
"Because... How can you tell if the man has a good salary at the first sight?"
Q: Why is it good to have a Jewish car?
A: It can stop on a dime, and pick it up for you too!
Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato?
A: "You better catch up!"
Always be yourself!
Unless you can be Batman - then always be Batman
By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead.
And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.
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