What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb?
A thyme machine.
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What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
What do you get when you cross an apple with a nun?
A computer that won’t go down.
Bad command or file name.
Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay!
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind.
Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
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The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better".
So I installed LINUX.
Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?
An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost.
He reduces height and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
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