What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb?
A thyme machine.
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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Why was the computer tired when he got home?
Because he had a hard drive.
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Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.
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Bill Gates dies and goes to God.
God says to him:
Because you invented the screen saver I give you the possibility to go wherever you want.
God shoes Bill that in hell there are lots of naked chicks and beaches.
So he chooses hell.
After a while God returns and asks him if he like’s it there.
Bill says:
No! Where are all the chicks you just showed me?
Oh that! That was just a screen saver.
Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe."
Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
Company softball team downsized to chess team.
Company president now driving a Hyundai.
Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work.
To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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