What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb?
A thyme machine.
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Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
Where's the best place to hide a body?
Page two of Google.
Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Officer: "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia."
Man: "No wait! I can explain everything!"
My software never has bugs.
It just develops random features.
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
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Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.
How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
Programming is like sex.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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