What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb?
A thyme machine.
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In a car there are two persons: a car mechanic and a programmer.
They where going to work when suddenly the car broke down.
The car mechanic tries to make the car work again but no solution.
Suddenly the programmer says:
"I say we better FORMAT it!"
My software never has bugs.
It just develops random features.
A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
Vote:
Algorithm.
Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.
Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer?
Nerdvana.
Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding?
That’s a hardware problem!
What’s an Athlon at 1,2 GHz processor that runs for 9 minutes without a cooler called?
8.5 minutes burned processor.
A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates.
The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to.
‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary.
‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’