What goes ‘choo choo choo’ while online? Thomas the search engine.
Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus? A dead wringer.
Fed up with your computer winning at chess? Try it at kick-boxing instead!
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire? Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
What's an extroverted IT professional? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.