What goes ‘choo choo choo’ while online?
Thomas the search engine.
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What does the informatics teacher scream when he’s drowning? - F1, F1, F1...
Two programmers after work, talking in a pub:
"You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar."
- And what did you do ?
"I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her."
"Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then?"
"I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop."
"Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications?"
Two packets walk into a bar.
One of the packets asks the bartender for a drink, and gets no response
The other packet tries and the bartender shrugs him off.
One packet leans to the other and says, "The quality of service here is terrible!"
Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error!
Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Every mobile phone user has complained like this:
Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
ChuckNorris.com.
Don't go there.
It's like the United States of Chuck Norris...
No one has been there and lived to tell the tale.
Vote:
Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles...
See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles...
See 83 errors, pitches computer.
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
Customer: “My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at a British comedy site.”
Tech Support: “Yes, what is the problem?”
Customer: “The ‘.uk’ at the end — doesn’t that stand for United Kingdom?”
Tech Support: “Yes.”
Customer: “Just great — I knew it!
He’s in trouble now!
He was there for almost a half hour!
How much does AOL charge for long distance?”
Tech Support: “It does not work that way.
You can surf anywhere without long distance charges.”
Customer: “No, I am sure AOL charges extra.
It doesn’t make any sense that they wouldn’t.
England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to.”
After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL.
A while later she called back.
Customer: “Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites.
I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL.”
Tech Support: “Yes?”
Customer: “Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?”
Tech Support: “Trust me — they don’t.”
Customer: “Wonderful!
My oldest son works in Sweden.
He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn’t know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone.
This will save us lots of money!
Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service.”