Joke #4720

Two packets walk into a bar. One of the packets asks the bartender for a drink, and gets no response The other packet tries and the bartender shrugs him off. One packet leans to the other and says, "The quality of service here is terrible!"

Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.

Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed". The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong". The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50." "Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.

Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.

Every mobile phone user has complained like this: Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.

What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1

Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.