Joke #3932

An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging.
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Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
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Yo' Mama is like a hockey player, she doesn't change her pad for three periods.
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Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
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I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."
Vote: has 84.18 % from 564 votes. Send joke:
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There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
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Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse. They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...
Vote: has 73.93 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
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A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot. Just as he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the p.a. system - "Will the gentleman on the lady's tee please move back to the men's tee". He looked up, looked back down and then resumed addressing the ball again. The Voice again - "Will the Man on the Red tees PLEASE MOVE BACK to the White Tees?!" He looked back at the starters shack and yelled, "Will the IDIOT on the p.a. shut up so that the man on the lady's tee can hit his second shot"!
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A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
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A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment. They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket. "What is that?" she asks. "Those are my golf balls." "Is that like tennis elbow?"
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Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
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