Seth: "Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?"
Will: "I don't know."
Seth: "Because the players dribble all over the court!"
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A famous boxer must be operated by appendicitis.
From the operation room the doctor gets out holding himself to the walls with a bruised eye and says:
A can’t do this anymore!
I try to anesthetize him, I count until 9 and he gets up and starts punching me...
The way from the cabins to the ring is too long, says the boxer.
No worries, on your way back you will come back with the stretcher...
I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face.
I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."
Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
Squash
A man walks into a bar with a dog.
The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here."
"You don't understand," says the man.
"This is no regular dog, he can talk."
"Listen, pal," says the bartender.
"If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks.
"The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?"
"Roof!" "Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?" "Bark!"
"And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!"
"I guess you've heard enough," says the man.
"I'll take the hundred in twenties."
The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you."
As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"
Q: How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica?
A: Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears.
Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely?
A: Playing Frisbee.
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them?
A. Just in case they get a hole in one.