Joke #2660

Bill Gates arrives at the port to heaven and hell. Petrus says: You see Bill, we don't know what to do with you. You may choose "heaven" or "hell". Bill peeks in heaven and sees a couple of old boring men sitting around at a table. Bill takes a look in hell and sees really beautiful women, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and most of all, gambling. So Bill says : I am a gambling man, I want to go to hell! Once in hell, Bill is immediately thrown into the fire. So Bill says : hey, what the hell is this, I saw all the gambling, the women, and sex? The devil says: 'That was just a demo version."
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl? A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.
Vote: has 73.22 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, sport
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, football, sport
They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer. It was to keep his teeth in.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
From the State where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes a true story from Texas. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood tavern. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night) flicked the blinkers on, then off, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a Breathalyzer test. To his amazement the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station this Breathalyzer equipment must be broken." "I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy." Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom`s the best sex in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sweee-et!" Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, your drunk!! Hahahahaha wot a fucking LAUGH!
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, sex, sport
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hipster, sport
A man comes home after his regular Saturday golf game and his wife asks why he doesn't include Joseph in the games anymore. The husband asks, "Would you want to play with a guy who regularly cheats, swears up a storm over everything, lies about his score, and has nothing good to say about anyone else on the course?" "Of course I wouldn't," replies the wife. "Well," says the husband, "neither would Joseph."
Vote: has 39.50 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: game, husband, sport, wife
How did the blonde die icefishing? She got run over by the zamboni!
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
Vote: has 41.83 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, marriage, school, sport
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, celebrity, ethnic, sport
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, sport