The water in Rio is so bad that even Usain Bolt had the "runs" in his last race!
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world? A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
While giving a physical, a doctor notices that his patient’s shins are covered in dark, savage bruises. ‘Tell me,’ says the doctor. ‘Do you play hockey or soccer?’ ‘No,’ said the man. ‘But my wife and I play bridge.’
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport? A: Baaasket baaall!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer? A: Chelsea.
Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet. Squash
Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!" Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir!"
A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island. The redhead swims half way and drowns. The brunette swims half way and drowns too. The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.