Joke #3954

Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
Vote:
has 27.32 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: sport

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "F**k, I missed." Surprised, the priest replied, "Don’t use that kind of language or god will punish you." The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot. Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I f**k’n missed again." The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don’t use that language or god will punish you." The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn’t help mutter, "Oh f**k" The priest said, "That’s it god will certainly punish you." Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest. In the distance a deep voice said, "F**K, I Missed."
Vote:
has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, god, golf, priest, sport
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Vote:
has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: athlete, celebrity, ethnic, sport
The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
Vote:
has 21.85 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: sport
Michael was watching the derby game between Manchester United and Liverpool; Old Trafford was packed and there was only one empty seat – next to Michael. ‘Who does that seat belong to?’ asked the person in the next seat. ‘My wife usually sits there.’ Michael replied. ‘But why isn’t she here?’ the neighbor persisted ‘She died.’ Said Michael in a matter-of-fact tone. ‘So why didn’t you give the ticket to one of your friends?’ ‘They’ve all gone to the funeral.’ said Michael.
Vote:
has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: sport
There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks. No one finished it. Why? Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick. It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, sport
"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy." Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."
Vote:
has 16.16 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: sport
George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz. When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish. ''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains. ''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.) ''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage. Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard. Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
Vote:
has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, political, sport
Yo Mama so fat when Flash tried to run around her he died before he got half way.
Vote:
has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: death, fat, sport, Yo mama
Why are football stadiums always cool? "Because they're full of fans."
Vote:
has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: football, sport
Q: How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica? A: Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears. Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
Vote:
has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: sport