Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
Yo'Mama is so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.
Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.
A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go." "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered. But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
What’s a swimmer’s favourite sport? Pool.
At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41." So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
What happened to the blond ice hockey team? They drown at spring training.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
What's a bee's favourite sport? Rugbee.
Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.