Joke #3954

Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
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has 27.32 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: sport

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Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That ought to do it. The next year the Japanese team won by two miles. The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: management, money, sport, technology, time
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again. "Oh great! NOW you tell me." said the beginner.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: game, golf, sport
Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
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has 79.34 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: bible, catholic, sport
Yo Mama so fat when Flash tried to run around her he died before he got half way.
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: death, fat, sport, Yo mama
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Bill and Earl are out playing golf. They get to the 17th tee, which overlooks a small lake, and see two guys out on the lake fishing. Bill says, "Hey Earl check out these two idiots fishing' in the rain!"
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: fish, golf, sport
Two alpinists on a mountain: One of them falls in a crack, the other jumps at the hole and screams after the other one: Are you hurt? Noooooo! He hears. How come? I’m still fallinnnnnnn!
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: sport
Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q: How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica? A: Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears. Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: sport