Q:What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A:Santa stops after three hos.
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Colorado Avalanche fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Avalanche fans too. Not really knowing what an Avalanche fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Avalanche fan," she retorts. "Then," asks her teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a proud Detroit Red Wings Fan," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the little girl why she is a Wings fan. "Well, my Dad and Mom are Wings fans, so I'm a Wings fan too," she responds. The teacher is now angry. "That’s no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" "Oh," says the little girl. "Well, then I'd be an Avalanche fan."
Hey babe, let's play football! You can have first down. High five!
Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
What's a mexicans' favorite sport? Cross country.
Two NBA basketball referees were walking through the countryside and they noticed some tracks. The first said, "Deer tracks?" "No," replied the second, "Bear tracks." The conversation ended abruptly when the train hit them.
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph. Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.