Joke #5578

Q:What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A:Santa stops after three hos.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: sport

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A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again. "Oh great! NOW you tell me." said the beginner.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: game, golf, sport
A famous boxer must be operated by appendicitis. From the operation room the doctor gets out holding himself to the walls with a bruised eye and says: A can’t do this anymore! I try to anesthetize him, I count until 9 and he gets up and starts punching me...
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has 28.45 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sport
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport, time, women
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
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has 38.48 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, football, sport
Bill Gates arrives at the port to heaven and hell. Petrus says: You see Bill, we don't know what to do with you. You may choose "heaven" or "hell". Bill peeks in heaven and sees a couple of old boring men sitting around at a table. Bill takes a look in hell and sees really beautiful women, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and most of all, gambling. So Bill says : I am a gambling man, I want to go to hell! Once in hell, Bill is immediately thrown into the fire. So Bill says : hey, what the hell is this, I saw all the gambling, the women, and sex? The devil says: 'That was just a demo version."
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: sport
What's a mexicans' favorite sport? Cross country.
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has 64.33 % from 412 votes. More jokes about: racist, sport
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice. When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”. So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there. So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her. “How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde. So the man cooly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”
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has 70.33 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: blonde, fish, sport
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: food, gym, kids, sport
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA
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has 73.06 % from 1246 votes. More jokes about: black people, sport, white people
A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep. I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any. Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s. I tried. But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, sport