Joke #3958

He named the street he built after his wife. It was very apt, as she was cold, hard, cracked and only got ploughed around Christmas.
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has 92.31 % from 3031 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
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has 84.89 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: age, marriage, old people, wife
A man and his wife went to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription for Viagra. Seeing the $10 per pill price his wife was astonished - but then realized "it's only going to cost us $30 per year."
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has 72.18 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: marriage, medical, money, sex, viagra
A wife tells her husband: "We never go out anywhere…" "Great, tomorrow I will be going to through our the garbage, you may join me…"
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
If it weren’t for marriage, women would have to spend most of their adult lives arguing with complete strangers.
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has 85.33 % from 308 votes. More jokes about: marriage
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs. Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes.
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has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day? simple it is just a formality like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!!
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has 53.08 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wedding
Two friends talking: "What's up?" "My wife left me for my best friend.." "I thought I was your best friend..." "Now he is."
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage
On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Sophie's feet are in agony. The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear Edward say, "God, that was tight." "There," whispers the Queen to the Duke, "I told you she was a virgin." Then, to their surprise, they hear Edward say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter." "That's my boy," says the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."
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has 57.55 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: family, god, marriage, wedding
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
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has 83.90 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean, sport, wife