Joke #3983

I can remember where I got married. I can remember when I got married. I just can’t remember why.
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The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
Vote: has 76.02 % from 105 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her
Vote: has 26.01 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
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What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
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My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other -- so now it's just a waiting game.
Vote: has 85.55 % from 242 votes. Send joke:
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Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
Vote: has 70.55 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office. At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses. At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
Vote: has 50.64 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
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Wife: "There's something preying on my mind." Husband: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? A: He thought his wife was a flake.
Vote: has 34.09 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
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A man and wife were having argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning. The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first. The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job. The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it. The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it. She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said "Hebrews".
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
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A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
Vote: has 86.03 % from 1132 votes. Send joke:
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