Linux is like a wigwam: no windows, no gates, apache inside...
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I'm not anti-social.
I'm just not user friendly.
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist?
A: Because it had Bluetooth.
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays.
Vote:
What do you call a computer that takes 15 minutes to start, freezes if you try to do more than one thing at a time, crashes regularly and causes you to swear under your breath throughout the day?
Cutting edge.
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..."
The man shook his head.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?"
The man shook his head again angrily.
"Sorry... a worm?"
The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces.
"Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers.
Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’
God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’
Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.