Linux is like a wigwam: no windows, no gates, apache inside...
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Where does the acronym LOTUS come from?
Let Only Users Suffer.
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets.
He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details.
Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money?
Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games.
- Good monkey, it's worth the money.
He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant.
"What does this monkey know?"
"It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad."
"Nice, even I don't know those things."
On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$.
The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details.
"And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?"
"I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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Google+ is the gym of social networking.
We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus?
It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.
Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet?
He kept logging on and off.
Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
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