Joke #4005

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
Vote:
has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym, phone, sport, time

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
Vote:
has 79.06 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, time
Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
Vote:
has 78.92 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness, phone
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
Vote:
has 78.70 % from 309 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, gym
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
Vote:
has 78.13 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness, food, gym
I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
Vote:
has 77.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: communication, fitness, gym, mean
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"
Vote:
has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sport, stupid, time, women
What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
Vote:
has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym, health
I sent a reminder to a client that it was time to visit the eye doctor. He called back to inform me that he would not be coming in because, as he put it, "I have a new obstetrician."
Vote:
has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: customer service, doctor, phone, time
While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, phone, time, work
A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
Vote:
has 72.90 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, phone, sex, time