What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
Redbull doesn't give you wings. Lat pulldowns do.
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? A: Curls.
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.