Joke #4489

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Vote:
has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you." "Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
Vote:
has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, mean, money, Valentines day
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Vote:
has 86.11 % from 1291 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: "So, how do I look?" "Well, at least you tried..."
Vote:
has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: beauty, marriage, wife
A newlywed couple goes on their honeymoon. Two days into the weeklong trip, the wife goes to the front desk and demands a car to take her to the airport. A few hours later, the husband strolls past the front desk. The manager asks why his wife has left the island. "Were you not having a good time?" The man replies, "Well, I've been having the best time of my life, but it's been with the maid."
Vote:
has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: marriage
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Simpson became too furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Simpson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!" Bewildered, Mr. Simpson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl." "Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
Vote:
has 84.13 % from 569 votes. More jokes about: blonde, husband, marriage
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
Vote:
has 25.82 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Wife:"I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband:"You have perfect eyesight."
Vote:
has 60.70 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
Vote:
has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: football, marriage, school, sport
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. "Give me a couple of steaks," he says. "We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher. "Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
Vote:
has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, marriage, mean
Julia tells her husband, "James, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can't you do that?" "Gosh," James says, "why I hardly know the girl."
Vote:
has 85.15 % from 266 votes. More jokes about: marriage