A small boy goes up to a man in the street and asks him if he’s lost £5.
The man checks his pockets and says, ‘Well, yes.
I think I have lost a £5 note.
Have you found one?’ The boy replies, ‘No.
I just wanted to see how many people had lost a £5 note today.
You make 72.’
Similar jokes
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If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem.
If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she does a drive-by from the bus.
Yo mama so poor a man broke in her house a gave her money.
The difference between the short and long income tax forms is simple.
If you use the short form, the government gets your money.
If you use the long form, the tax advisor gets your money.
How do you find the population of a Mexican village?
Roll a quarter down the street.r
How do you know you’re flying over the poorer part of town?
You see toilet paper hanging on the clothes lines.
An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it.
Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I'll grant you three wishes, Master."
The atheist says, "I wish I could believe in you."
The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him.
The atheist says, "Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this."
The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies.
"What about your third wish?" asks the genie.
"Well," says the atheist, "I wish for a billion dollars."
The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens.
"What's wrong?" asks the atheist.
The genie shrugs and says, "Just because you believe in me, doesn't necessarily mean that I really exist."
Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money.
I shall be everlastingly in your debt.
Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
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