Joke #4045

A small boy goes up to a man in the street and asks him if he’s lost £5. The man checks his pockets and says, ‘Well, yes. I think I have lost a £5 note. Have you found one?’ The boy replies, ‘No. I just wanted to see how many people had lost a £5 note today. You make 72.’

If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left? A million dollars minus 75 cents.

Why do people like to borrow money in Alaska? Because they have Fairbanks!

After any salary rise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

Yo' Mama is so poor, she steals her breakfast from backyard bird feeders.

A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before. "It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted. Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag. "Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter. "All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"

‘If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.’ John Paul Getty A woman rings her insurance company. ‘Our house burnt down and I want £100,000,’ she says.

Q: How do you know if Asians are moving into the neighborhood? A: The Mexicans start buying car insurance.

OK, who put a stop payment on my reality check?

Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents. Friend: That's Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?

A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring. One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it. "My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!