The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
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Ricky Ponting's wife calls her husband but Australian Cricket Team Manager attends the call.
Ricky's Wife: "Hello Can I talk to Ricky, this is his wife."
Australian team Manager: "Sorry, he is just going to bat, I am the team manager, any message for him."
Ricky's Wife: "No Problem Manager, I will hold on!"
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
Vote:
There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau.
Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line.
Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat.
When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?"
The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan."
The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?"
The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
Vote:
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.. She said "Tenpin?"
I said, "No, permanent."
Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!
Q:What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
A:Santa stops after three hos.
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
There was a tragic end to the water polo championships – all the horses drowned.