The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
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Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips.
After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft".
So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft"
Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft"?
To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent"
What time does Andy Murray go to his bed?
Ten-ish.
There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred.
Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game.
But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired.
His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill?
You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now."
Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened.
Fred had a heart attack on the first hole."
"My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him.
"That must've been terrible!"
"It was," he said.
"All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again..."
Q: What do the World Series and bears on birth control have in common?
A: No Cubs
Q: What do you call two Asians playing basketball?
A: Ping-Pong
Dad shouts ..."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!"
Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!
Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.
Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs...
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water?
A: Swimmers are farting.
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