Joke #4054

The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
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My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
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Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed. When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job. Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!
Vote: has 81.21 % from 78 votes. Send joke:
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Yo mama's so skinny, she used a needle for a baseball bat.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green. Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green. The old man steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and heads for the water trap. But, just before it falls into the water, a fish jumps up and grabs the ball in its mouth. As the fish is falling back down into the water, an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in its claws. The eagle flies over the green where a lightning bolt shoots from the sky and barely misses it. Startled, the eagle drops the fish. When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops out of its mouth and rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one. Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you don’t stop fooling around, we won’t bring you next time."
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Q: Why is it so hot at Phillies games? A: Because there's not a fan in the place.
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What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court? Annette!
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What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose? "Darling."
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A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. "Where were you? I was worried sick." "It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
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Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
Vote: has 56.20 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
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