The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
Where's the safest place to be when a bunch of white guys are playing basketball? Under the Hoop
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted. Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!" His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible." Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, "Do you see it?" Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!" Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!" Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."
Did you hear about the small golf course? You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.
While giving a physical, a doctor notices that his patient’s shins are covered in dark, savage bruises. ‘Tell me,’ says the doctor. ‘Do you play hockey or soccer?’ ‘No,’ said the man. ‘But my wife and I play bridge.’
What time does Andy Murray go to his bed? Ten-ish.
There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.