The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is.
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music?
"Because he broke the record."
A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
The husband said, "No sweetie."
The woman said, "I'm sure you would."
So the man said, "Okay, I would"
Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"
And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."
Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"
And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move?
A: The splits!
I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match.
I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.
What is the noisiest game?
Squash – because you can’t play it without raising a racquet!
Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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The coach says to the boxer encouragement words:
The other one will surely win, but at least look at the cameras and smile...