Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose? "Darling."
He was a colourful boxer. Black and blue all over.
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise!
A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?" The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through." He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that! Shame on you!" The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole. Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.
Billionaire Richard Branson has withdrawn from a sponsorship deal of Chesterfield Football Club. He stated that 'he couldnt have the name VIRGIN on the teams shirts ... when they get fucked every week !'