Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
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Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It got angry and bit at the champ!
Yo mama so fat when she went sky diving in a blue jump suit, all the kids below said, "Ahhhh! The sky is falling!"
A black family of four, hears about a magical river that can turn them white if they swim across so they go and the dad and mom swim across, and they come out white, the daughter jumps in and swims across and she turn white, so the son trys to swim but the current takes him and the little girl goes up to dad and says, "Daddy, daddy, Philip just got taken by the current" and the dad says,
"Oh, forget that nigga."
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Billy and Joe were huge baseball fans.
One day, both Billy and Joe made a pact that if either of them were to die; they had to come back to the other in the form of a ghost to let the other know if baseball was played in heaven.
Sure enough, Billy dies and eventually comes to Joe one night in the form of a ghost.
A startled Joe realizes it is the ghost of his deceased friend and says "Billy, it is so good to see you...so tell me, is there baseball in Heaven?".
"Well", Billy says, "I have some good news and bad news for ya.
First the good news...YES, there is baseball in heaven!".
"Thank God!" Joe shouts...
"What is the bad news?!".
"You're pitching tomorrow."
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?
A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
Why did the referee have such a high phone bill?
Because he made to many calls!
An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging.
In France, Chuck Norris accidentally won Tour de France by exercise bike.
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I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
Why can't girls play hockey?
Because their pads can't last three periods.
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