‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’ Sue Murphy
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d.
"Name?" "Abdul Aziz." "Sex?" "Three to five times a day." "No, no... I mean male or female?" "Yes, male, female, sometimes camel." "Holy cow!" "Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general." "But isn't that hostile?" "Horse style, doggy style, any style!" "Oh dear!" "No, no! Deer run too fast..."
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep? A stripey sweater.
What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit? A rabbit that says, "Ribbit."
It was a hot summer night. Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple... I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo.
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up...