‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’ Sue Murphy
A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter. "That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor. "Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked, the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned. He returned to the store shortly. "Ah-ha!" said the proprietor. "You've come back for the story, right?" "Nope," said the man. "You have any brass lawyers?"
How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the donkey. "Your name is written inside the cover."
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt? Tricera-bottoms.
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad!
Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.