What do you call a mobile homes for rabbits?
Wheelburrows.
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Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football.
During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning.
But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game.
When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede,
“Where were you during the first half?”
He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case.
Two rabbits are in a garden and one of the rabbits says, "Thith carrot tathes pithy."
The other rabbit says, "Yes, I know, I just pithed on it."
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym?
A: He was destroying his calves.
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive?
A: OxFord.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup."
Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
A very respected Captain in the Foreign Legion was transferred to a remote desert outpost.
On his orientation tour he noticed a very old seedy looking camel tied out behind the enlisted men’s barracks.
He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, “Why is a camel tied to the barracks?”
The Sergeant replied, “Well sir, it’s a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do … uh … we have the camel ready for them.”
The Captain said, “Well, I suppose if it’s good for morale, then I guess it’s all right with me”.
After he had been stationed at the fort for six long, lonely months, the Captain simply couldn’t control his sexual angst any longer.
He barked to his Sergeant: “BRING THE CAMEL INTO MY TENT!”
The Sergeant shrugged his shoulders, looked at the other men, and lead the camel into the Captain’s quarters.
Within a few minutes, the Captain emerged from his tent, fastening his trousers, almost beaming with pride.
“So, Sergeant, is that how the enlisted men do it?” he asked.
The Sergeant replied, “Well, sir, usually they just use it to ride into town.”
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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