Outgoing e-mails have tobacco stains on them.
There are only two kinds of computer. The latest model, and the obsolete.
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
Which way did the programmer go? He went data way!
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary? A: A major glitch!
A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.