Outgoing e-mails have tobacco stains on them.
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At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement:
"Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common?
A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
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1998: Don't get in the car with strangers.
2008: Don't meet people from the internet.
2018: Order yourself a stranger to get in the car with from the internet. (Uber)
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
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Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
Two bloggers chatting:
Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice.
Son: Where, Give me the link please.
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
A: Data
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress.
The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered.
The lawyer warns of the difficulties.
It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy.
The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
My wife thinks I’m with my mistress.
My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
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