Outgoing e-mails have tobacco stains on them.
A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates. The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to. ‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary. ‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’
With searching comes loss And the presence of absence: ‘My Novel’ not found.
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? Yes.
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb? A thyme machine.
Windows: Weapon off mass destruction!
Why did the Irishman give up internet shopping? The trolley kept falling off the computer.
Which way did the programmer go? He went data way!
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
A new army computer is put through its paces. An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’ The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’