Outgoing e-mails have tobacco stains on them.
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Bill Gates was drafted and sent to boot camp.
At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets.
He fired several shots at the target.
The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
Bill Gates looked at his rifle, and then at the target.
He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again.
He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.
The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Two programmers after work, talking in a pub:
"You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar."
- And what did you do ?
"I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her."
"Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then?"
"I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop."
"Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications?"
The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI...
"Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
Vote:
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
Q: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
A: Lost.
Vote:
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind.
Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
Vote:
Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.