Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50." "Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
Chuck Norris's e-mail adress is Yahoo@ChuckNorris.com
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb? A thyme machine.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer. Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse. And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse. Because there’s only one jack. Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself? You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer. Caller: Are you kidding me!? Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow. That’s going to be so much easier! Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way? Caller: Six weeks!
What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman? PC Plod.
Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right? A: 1.
What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge? Cool music.