Mary to Jill: ‘My last boyfriend said he fantasised about having two girls at once.
Jill: ‘Most men do. What did you tell him?’
Mary: ‘I said, “If you can’t satisfy one woman, why would you want to piss off another one?”’
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Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They're great with figures.
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Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men?
It changes their blood type.
A small boy was awoken in the middle of the night by strange noises from his parents’ room, and he decided to investigate.
As he entered their bedroom, he was shocked to see his mom and dad shagging for all they were worth.
“DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing?”
“It’s ok,” his father replied. “Your mother wants a baby, that’s all.”
The small boy, excited at the prospect of a new baby brother, was pleased and went back to bed with a smile on his face.
Several weeks later, the little boy was walking past the bathroom and was shocked to discover his mother giving oral gratification to his
father.
“DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing now?”
“Son, there’s been a change of plan,” his father replied.
“Your mother did want a baby, but now she wants a BMW.”
Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex.
How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom?
Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
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Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind.
Son: Dad im over here.
Vote:
Q: What did I do in the bed last night.
A: Your mom.
Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?
A. They're called Dikes.
They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
What’s the difference between a bar and a g-spot?
Most men have no trouble finding a bar.