Joke #4532

Sex is like air – it’s not important until you’re not getting any.
Vote: has 76.67 % from 421 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two hookers standing on a street corner started discussing business. One of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air." The other hooker looked at her and said, "Sorry No, I just burped."
Vote: has 65.22 % from 113 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
A guy buys his first motorcycle. The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house. Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break. After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her. Silence. Desperate, he grabs her mother and has sex with her on the table. Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance. The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket. "OK, OK," says the father, "I'll do the dishes!"
Vote: has 59.56 % from 196 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, family, marriage, sex, weather
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote: has 44.40 % from 103 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, sex, women
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
Vote: has 66.62 % from 91 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, sex
Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony? A: The blond girl told him to come outside
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, sex, time
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Q: What is a difference between Ooooh and Aaaah? A: Only 3 inches.
Vote: has 82.79 % from 333 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
A guy is walking along the shoreline at the beach wearing just a pair of cutoff jeans. Sure enough, he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork, and out comes the Genie to give him one wish. He pulls out a map of the Middle East, and asks the Genie if he can bring Peace to this part of the World. The Genie pales, and says, "Master, these people have been at war since time began. It is their nature, woven into the very fabric of their lives. What you ask is totally impossible. It is probably the only wish I cannot grant you. Ask for anything else and I will make it happen." "Okay", the guy says. "Tomorrow morning have my wife awaken me, with the best blowjob I've ever had, on her own, without my begging and pleading - just because she likes it, because she wants to, and because it turns her on." The Genie shakes his head and says, "Let me see that map again!
Vote: has 69.93 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, genie, sex, war, wife
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died? A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
Vote: has 57.04 % from 64 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, sex, wife
A man and woman are lying in bed after a disappointing bout of sex. ‘You’ve got a very small organ,’ says the woman. The man replies, ‘Well I didn’t know I’d be playing in the Albert Hall.’
Vote: has 66.34 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex