Joke #4532

Sex is like air – it’s not important until you’re not getting any.
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has 76.40 % from 439 votes. More jokes about: sex

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Peter approaches the gates of Heaven. "Knock knock," says Peter. Miraculously, someone answers him. "Who's there," a voice in the distance asked. "God," says Peter. "God who," asked the voice? "GOD DAMMIT open these gates! I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
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has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, heaven, knock-knock, sex
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
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has 30.41 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, time, women
A teacher was telling her students about human anatomy in a sex education class. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of a male and a female. "The female has two breasts and one vagina. The male has one penis." A little boy in the front row jumped up and said that the teacher was wrong. "My daddy has two penises. He has a short one that he pees with and a long one that he brushes Mommy's teeth with!"
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has 75.54 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, student, teacher
A guy walks into a drug store and asks for a packet of condoms. The pharmacist says, ‘That’ll be £5.00 with the tax.’ ‘Tacks?’, the guy exclaims. ‘I thought you rolled them on!’
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has 38.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: sex
The teacher asked Johnny, "What is sex?" Johnny stood up and said: "Sex is a temptation caused my a sensation where a boy sticks his location into a girls destination to increase the population of the next generation" The teacher stared at him and fainted.
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has 77.91 % from 455 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, sex, teacher
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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has 41.13 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, internet, sex
Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
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has 79.26 % from 820 votes. More jokes about: accountant, nerd, sex
A Male patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack. He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on hospital bed. An young nurse came to cleanse his body with sponge. The patient mumbled, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse replied, “I don’t know Sir, I am just setting you clean” The patient repeated again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse was quite embarrassed to answer the question and said “Sir everything should be OK” The patient just kept on asking again and again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse could not bear a patient concerned so much. So she raised his gown, moved her hand to find and grab his penis and testicle, moved it all around, checked very closely and suddenly man ejaculated on nurse’s hand. The man pulls off his oxygen mask, embarrassed at the fiasco says loudly enough, “Ma’am, Thanks but I still need to know 'Are my tests results back?’”
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has 85.03 % from 1901 votes. More jokes about: dirty, health, hospital, sex
Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.
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has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
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has 71.97 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex