The keyboard is painted in camouflage.
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I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work.
To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
Error, no keyboard.
Press F1 to continue.
Q: What is height of Craziness?
A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth surgeon said, "I like technicians...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.
"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"
"No..."
"Inheritance."
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?
I'm not anti-social.
I'm just not user friendly.