Joke #4143

The keyboard is painted in camouflage.
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has 20.85 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: IT

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One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
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has 86.31 % from 2202 votes. More jokes about: computer, drug, IT, medical, money
The six front keys have rotted out.
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has 9.43 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: IT
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: IT
What do computers do when they get hungry? They eat chips!
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Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
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The monitor is up on blocks.
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My attitude isn't bad. It's in beta.
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has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT
Hide a seek champion... ; Since 1958
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Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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Q: What did Data find when he went into the bathroom stall? A: Captain's log.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: IT