Why was the IT support worker bad-tempered?
Because he had a chip on his shoulder.
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If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!
If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.
Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.
To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.
To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
When you loose your car keys, click on find.
"Help" with the chores is just a click away.
Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary.
You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.
And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
I’ve invented a human computer.
When he does a mistake he blames another computer.
Google+ is the gym of social networking.
We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
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Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
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Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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